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Author Topic: Should your spouse know everything about your past?  (Read 6377 times)

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Offline dadp007

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Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« on: March 03, 2008, 12:57:29 AM »
Cleaning out your closet [float=right][/float]

Especially in a new relationship,should your spouse know about all ur past escapades or u should just forget the past and forge ahead.

I need ur views pls
« Last Edit: March 03, 2008, 02:39:34 PM by Favour »

Offline davidenko

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #1 on: March 03, 2008, 02:05:01 PM »
I do no think it is right to keep secrets from somebody you want to marry for keeps let her know everything about you so that she can predict you and can trust you.
ca$h rule$ #v#rything around m#...

Offline alphonsus ekenyere

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #2 on: March 03, 2008, 02:44:23 PM »
From the onset she has to know every detail about my past life and vice versa. This will go a long way in taking care of any intruders and their damindg instincts.

Offline magneto

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #3 on: March 03, 2008, 04:46:12 PM »
honestly it depends on the kind of escapades we're talking about here. if its something she don't need to know...then she don't need to know! she may not see it in the same light as u. but if its something serious...eg if u've had a kid by someone b4, then she definitely has to know.
and wats all this talk bout she 'predicting u' n all dat ish? :-\
i believe most women wouldn't even want to be bothered with unecessary details anyway so they won't have to reciprocate, of course ;)

bottom line is, if its not called for, don't sweat it... unless of course ur doing so out of ur own free will and not bcos u have to.



'dont indulge in my past, fcuk wat happened b4 u' - 50cent

nuff said.

Offline freddiewit

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2008, 04:50:54 PM »
She should, but she can't because you just can't seem to remember anything, and in some cases, you count some aspects irrelevant until they seem to be appearing again.

Offline Penthome

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #5 on: March 03, 2008, 05:05:24 PM »
Man, your spouse should know the important things, like you have a kid outside, you cut a deal with a gangster group, you left the cult or some serious things that could hamper your future/security. Others, leave them out, issues with relationships and all dat, let them find out on their own. For women, they love you more when you tell lies, so don't even be the one to start up the explanation, cos they gon have something against you soooner than later.

For babes, don't even make that mistake in your life, don't. Men are not to be messed with, you don't want him knowing how many guys' you've... or how many times in all (total) you've been laid or how many times you went thru the doctor's Knife or at what age you.... or .... save those details for ur conscience and guilt.

Fcuk the past and start a new life, the past will forever hang in the dark corners of your room but without forgiveness and the will to move on, man, you gon' live a life without a single successful relationship let alone marriage.
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Offline micsmells

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #6 on: March 03, 2008, 05:13:27 PM »
That i believe is why it is called THE PAST. If some things get out,omoo, u could just break knowing them. I'd say no guy really wants to know how many bus stations his wife had before stopping on him. Such can kill..

Offline harry

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #7 on: March 03, 2008, 06:41:06 PM »
What is past? Something that have happened in the past.Something that is gone,you can only draw lessons from it either good or bad. In my own view the past is past by telling your spouse there is every tendencies that he/she wiil used it against you someday because we are human. It takes only God to forgive our past and not to revist it again.

Offline tweet

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #8 on: March 03, 2008, 07:36:18 PM »
I agree with Freddie

It is only proper to make your patner know of any good or bad thing you have done in the past, some of the things we think are irrelevant could rear a very ugly head in future.

As that is said, what if after telling your patner about your past, he/ she decides to leave you? How many people can you risk losing all because of the wrong things you did a very long time ago?

My answer is be good and sweep your closet regularly to avoid a skeleton popping out someday. But then if you have skeletons already.... i'll say best wishes... you need wisdom to confront that issue.

As for me, i prefer my spouse to tell me everything i should know about his past.
GODISNOWHERE can be read as GOD IS NO WHERE or GOD IS NOW HERE. Think positive.

Offline hollufikky

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #9 on: March 03, 2008, 08:37:51 PM »
Letting your spouse know about your past is one "never too little" detail dat should not be left out in a relationship. the weight of the deed may seem very insignificant but you never can tell how information rares its ugly head.

Talking of skeletons in the closet, there is no need wallowing in self pity when you can always let it out.  I feel the main problem people have is telling what point is appropriate to talk about the past.
Personally i'll say the topic has a way of steering up however what is important is that such details should be left for a time when the relationship has matured, not a second date or tenth date. A level of mutual understanding is required to manage such details except for very crucial details like having a child , health deficiencies, genotype, or life threatening circumstances.

When it comes to past relationships, its essential that a level of trust has been built up before such information is relayed. Its true that not everyone may be interested in such detail, however, it is necessary to come out clean and not assume whats behind the facade that your partner puts up.

Trust me you dont want to be out on a date with ur partner and your friend tells you wat style ur partner likes or how loud he/she can be. when the past is told, there be no need chasing shadows or having a guilty conscience. This does not mean that you have to tell all the slizzy details. Dont mind those who are not ready to know how many bus-stops their Guy/girl has been to......they are always the first to make a lot of fuse about your past.



There is always the need to know all that there is to you partner. If the Love is there He/She will like you just the way you are not how you were.

 
Woman without her man is nothing!

Woman, Without her, Man is NOTHING!!!

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #10 on: March 04, 2008, 12:29:35 AM »
@Fikky Mrs Lecturer

But finally everybody make sense in different ways

Offline kabal007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #11 on: March 04, 2008, 02:29:45 AM »
if she cares to know. y not? I'll tell her. your not telling her mite have its consequences in future. if she loves me, no matter how dirty they are, she go manage me

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #12 on: March 04, 2008, 02:41:04 AM »
I think its still takes us back to the fact that this issue depends on the two involved

Offline kaydee

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #13 on: March 04, 2008, 02:54:48 AM »
I ain't telling nada and i don't wanna know too
I Speak The Truth Even when I Lie -Scarface

Offline vanny

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #14 on: March 04, 2008, 11:06:11 AM »
yes it the best thing to do,incase he gets to find out,u should be loved 4 who u were and is now.

Offline Dubai

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #15 on: March 04, 2008, 01:46:08 PM »
dont tell them until they ask you.

love me for who i am now and not who i was.
lead us well dont let this nation to fall inside well mr president

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #16 on: March 04, 2008, 11:13:14 PM »
Sometimes what u were affects what u are
« Last Edit: March 05, 2008, 09:16:44 AM by dadp007 »

Offline abdul

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #17 on: March 05, 2008, 08:29:29 AM »
Well you guys have all spoken well. If he/she ask and wants details the so be it.
But just as Fikky put it, let it be at a time when the relationship has become really matured.
That is trust has been built and such details cant ruin the ralationship.
If you are telling him/her in details, put extra caution not to lie a bit.

Offline freddiewit

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #18 on: March 05, 2008, 09:59:14 AM »
That's the koko now. How can you call someone your spouse when the relationship has not matured?

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #19 on: March 05, 2008, 10:18:23 AM »
People dey call any thing relationship these days o

Offline elson

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #20 on: March 05, 2008, 10:45:07 AM »
 ;D  This is a difficult one but I think they should know not everything but have an idea. Cos It hurts more when they get to know from outside sources.

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #21 on: March 05, 2008, 12:13:47 PM »
Why should u even have a past that is as terrible that u can tell someone u will stay with for the rest of ur life

Offline Penthome

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #22 on: March 05, 2008, 01:25:42 PM »
Man, you can only forgive your past, you can't judge it neither can you control it. THe best you can do is to be careful with your present. People have been in different places at different times and of course with "different" people...

If you really want to spend the "rest of your life" with them, then you got to be more careful what you say with your mouth. Like Obasanjo daughter-in-law wey go tell her hubby say her rich, influential papa don molest am before, the outcome, he started suspecting his father was also molesting his wife, the rest as u know, is history.

Shut the fcuk up if ain't gat nothing to say. My advice to women especially. ;)
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Offline abdul

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #23 on: March 06, 2008, 11:08:55 AM »
That's the koko now. How can you call someone your spouse when the relationship has not matured?
Yeah that is right. Since spouse means husband and wife, then our posts were directed to a man and woman relationship.
I think its a bit late to talk about the past if the two are already married.
If you will say anything say before the knot is tied.

Offline Kate

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #24 on: March 06, 2008, 01:55:08 PM »
After the knot is tied dont say anything that will jeopardise your marriage and make sure you delete all the phone numbers of people you dont want to keep anymore and dont allow them close to your matrimonial home especially the person that disvirgined you.Im saying this because we are all humans and we have strange feelings.
Someday, you will be accountable for every word you type on the internet or in a video.

Offline Brittany_leigh

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #25 on: March 06, 2008, 04:48:42 PM »
I always tell my friends: save the gory details.
only god knows why arses are located backwards and not on the opposite sides. boobs? hmm, evil!

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #26 on: March 06, 2008, 09:45:19 PM »
Kate deleting old phone numbers is not the same as the old friends not calling u, infact u can still meet outside now

Offline mukina

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #27 on: March 06, 2008, 09:59:24 PM »
no hell no .

sometimes some things are better left unsaid .

sometimes you think its the right thing to do and it needs up hurting both of you and destroying what you have .

If they happen to stumble upon  your past . shit happens . and you will make them understand that you didnt talk about it because you believe that the past belongs in the past .

thats a very grave mistake most people make . keep it for yourself , and dont ask him/her about theirs . .Your past should start on the day you met ;D you got nothing to hide , and its all in the open ;D
I am whatever you say i am :-* :-*

Offline dadp007

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #28 on: March 06, 2008, 10:31:57 PM »
muki u don tey for this game

Offline mukina

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Re: Should your spouse know everything about your past?
« Reply #29 on: March 06, 2008, 10:47:19 PM »
ha ha what game? ;D
I am whatever you say i am :-* :-*