Random musings of a sweetsoul

[WatchULukin4]

hey guys!

i decided 2 start a miniblog thing on rm b4 i start my full nonsense..
may be over d top, may be boring as washed-out rock.
knowin myself, most of d stuff will be random. this is not a get to know me forum...jus random posts and thoughts.

DO:
feel free 2 chk in every now and again
leav ur comments...in wateva shade dey come, i tink i can handle it.
expect honest, blunt, sarcasm and implied cynicsm

DO NOT:
expect fancy/eloquent writting
expect me to bare it all...this is not a get to know me forum.
fall in love. i'm taken n my mahn is very hefty n jealous.
give it if u cant take it!


enjoy!
PS: my opinions may offend u. i will not apologise for havin an opinion. but i apologise in advance if dey offend u.

[WatchULukin4]

Anniversary.

we said our goodbyes
a hug. a kiss. another hug...
dont make me cry.
will u not miss...me?
u crazy girl
goodbyes are not forever..are they?
are they?
its for the best
how so?
ul soon find an american hottie
no shel be brazillian. i promise
a smile. a hug.
memories are fading.
the smile wont fade.
a smile. a hug lik never.
a tightening in d chest.
as if i knew...

was it real?
boy lik u. girl lik me.
ure beautiful. if only u knew it.
giving all. asking nothin.
men lik dat dnt exist.
u wer still a boy.
a guitar boy.
a tomgirl.
no need to say love
walls hear. strings can talk
wats d word? i 4get..i 4get
oh no.
d memory is fading.
rascal and angel
no human is perfect
but i ddnt get to see your flaw
angel to my mind
heaven obviously agreed
wat other reason to want you?

had i known...
had i known what?
NOTHING.
nothing...more
but u could have told me
wy shield me from pain, angel?
did He not tell you; pain is part of life?
would i have hugged you different?
or shed the tears i held back.
u said long distance
but u didnt say this far
i guess you didnt know yourself
2 yrs to neverland
goodbyes are not forever...are they?
are they?

your sister. bless her.
worst enemy. best friend.
only she understands
d loss of an angel lik u.
maybe one dey ill meet ur mama
wat shall i say?
thanks or no thanks?
she couldn be a devil
she birthed an angel
and never would we hav met
if she wasnt she.
i luvd u my angel
sorry i never said
i know u lovd me
in d best way u could
u played ur angel well!
when your life flashes...
ope u smiled on my scene.
cos wen my time comes,
ill smile at u and remember…
goodbyes are not forever!

do you have facebook in heaven?
Myspace sounds more appropriate
does the spaceship go your way?
do birds really bring a message?
i hear eagles fly high
i imagine they soar past your mansion.
imagination.
i dare not but i dare.
a man now.
the stupid grin when you are 'in d zone'
strumming...
your red glorious now battered but u wont let go cos i signed
what would you be famous for?
guitar, words or looks?
i bet u join a band.
tell me, did you ever get into baggys?
did u shave ur hair?
did you lose d packs for a round? do pimples bother u?
i passed one.
screamin belly. face still fresh.
ill never get these answers.
ul never be...
you will never be...
does it hurt u like me?
baby daddy.
baby momma.
must be a guy.
no I want him to have ur looks.
twins den. one for me n one for u.
wat if we did it?.
goodbye wouldn’t be forever…would it?
he would have ur looks, she would have ur heart.

this paragrapgh is angry
not at you.
not at God.
not at me.
not at them.
not at it.
wy come and not stay?
why love n not last?
why cant i 4get d smile.
wy cant i remember d fault.
wy do i try to see u in them?
will dis day 4eva bring pain?
if goodbyes are 4eva, wy do I hear ur coocoo voice?
and see your hands…ur hands, strumming
and wy wont u wipe dat smile off ur face?
and stop singing them words
“not letting you go…cos u are mine…
baby don’t cry…ur smile too fine”

ure gone.
but ure still ere.
my guitar boy.
wu never lived to be a man.
goodbye once again.
ope u lik ur spot in der.
cc u next yr.
dis goodbye is not forever yet!

Goodbyes are not forever... © Shelovedtwice.com
In memory of a dear friend.
bye4now..
SwEeTsOuL

PS: apologies for d typos, grammatical errors, punctuation jargons etc. i ddnt want to tamper by editing stuff!

[WatchULukin4]

DO I NEED HELP?

in case u ddn gather from d epistle below.
i'm mournin d loss of a dear friend.

today is d anniversary of d last time i saw him.
i feel dis way every dis day every year since i found out he died.

maybe i need to deal wit dis grief...unresolved grief can be very dangerous.. but is it unresolved grief really?

i'm gon' be fine tommorow...bk 2 my jovial self. is dis my way of dealing with it? is it sad? is it allowed? or is it a hindrance to moving on?

anyone hav similar experiences?

[Penthome]

Hmmm, breath taking and free flowing. Natural piece of artwork. Spit it out sis, spit it.

[light of christ]

hey guys!

i decided 2 start a miniblog thing on rm b4 i start my full nonsense..
may be over d top, may be boring as washed-out rock.
knowin myself, most of d stuff will be random. this is not a get to know me forum...jus random posts and thoughts.

DO:
feel free 2 chk in every now and again
leav ur comments...in wateva shade dey come, i tink i can handle it.
expect honest, blunt, sarcasm and implied cynicsm

DO NOT:
expect fancy/eloquent writting
expect me to bare it all...this is not a get to know me forum.
fall in love. i'm taken n my mahn is very hefty n jealous.
give it if u cant take it!


enjoy!
PS: my opinions may offend u. i will not apologise for havin an opinion. but i apologise in advance if dey offend u.

Sweet, I hear U!

[WatchULukin4]

writers' block already!  a different version.

ill be BACK!!

[light of christ]

writers' block already!  a different version.

ill be BACK!!

Oh No! pls Sweet, spare us this random muse of urs, abeg!

[Penthome]

Success begets adrenaline 

[WatchULukin4]

Oh No! pls Sweet, spare us this random muse of urs, abeg!

ha ha very NOT funny! 

[light of christ]

Jooo, on bended knees again! U know Pent has slacked in his supply of armours from our armoury. so I'm left bare & defenseless. So pls sooofree, soofreee. Don't release ur arsenals on me now. _{I no get power o!}. Pent! Pent! Pent! How many times did I call U?  se ti rii?

[WatchULukin4]

Memories are not so useful when you try to remember what you cant remember!

What was my first teddy called
My first bruise
First book
Parents should be able to tell you these details
But their guess is as good as mine
Since memories are not so useful when they try to remember what they cant remember!

what did they tell me?
Too young to understand at
Big sister at 3
Baby sister
Maybe they didn’t even know
Didn’t she want a boy?
Did I wish a boy? No time for girly things
Did I pray a sister? compensate my boyishness
Too young to understand the difference
What feelings
Jealous, sad or happy
Do memories capture feelings?
Wish I knew
But memories are not so useful when you try to remember what you cant remember!

How can I not remember your birth
They say I was there
But my memories are useless
A foreign land
Did I hold u
Rich chocolate skin
Did your crying tire me
An accident
Did you know?
Miss me?
The pain n scar
6monmths of your life
Did it make a difference?
Does it matter?
I can’t tell
For memories are not so useful when you try to remember what you cant remember!

useless memories of an unlikely pal (Part1)... © Shelovedtwice.com
for sista.
bye4now..
SwEeTsOuL

[Penthome]

Hmm, musings are gradually becoming addictive here o. And who's shelovedtwice? You?

Great work, can't wait to see your blog.

[light of christ]

she knows better Pent

[Penthome]

Not disputing that, she can be sweet and "rarely" sour but im enjoying this side of her.

[WatchULukin4]

I plead guilty my friend
I’m sorry
Talk to me please
Wish I never
Would I hurt with intent?
Would u blame the innocent
I’m dis a ppoin..ted in ...
Please don’t say it!
those words
I cant bear to hear it
…you
my core is pierced
a legion seep through
This guest is not welcome
Guilt is a legion I cannot contain
Does the heart get bigger
For a mob like this?
Will I explode
O! the agony
The grief of a friend's wound
I dare not say why…me
2 hearts a-hurtin’
me
friendship betrayed
me
whose fiery tongue
me
let the assembly hold still
I’m sorry
I’m guilty


Who said there’s two voices in yer head?
I hear a  crowd
A frantic army
A vigourous conscience
I think I hear screamers and wailers
The child in me whimpers along
A wise man once
              Whoever guards his mouth and tongue
                   Keeps his soul from troubles
Well this soul knows better now
I’m sorry
I admit i'm guilty


How could you?
Why did i?
wHAT was I thinking
aaaaarrrrggghhh
I cannot take this anymore
Someone make these voices stop
Ple..e…a.s……e any…one
The tears sting
Help me please
I’m sorry
I feel guilty


If I could turn back the hands of time
I would capture my words
Study to be quiet
And escape a day with guilt
Eyin loro
Man cant tame the tongue
But d wise measures her words
I cant even reason
D gang chide me again
How did they get to my head
First a bang
The vibration wont stop
Was that a roll
There’s a response too
d momento is risin
it’s a band
samba is in my head
feels lik a headache
Sounds like…very bad rhythm
I need to hear something else
Maybe the voices were better
Why does my heart beat follow the rhythm
How fast should a heart beat?
Do brains fall apart
Cos one can only take so much
O! this is pain
Guilt is a demon now
My mind is racing
I’m sorry
I’m so so…rry
Still guilty


I’m in shivers now
O guilt!
u summoned bandit
Wat more to steal
Where’s joy and peace
Can faith be killed
I Cant go on thus
This fiend aims to destroy
Lord have mercy
Take this pain away
I’m sorry
I know I’m guilty



I already did
wounded for your sin
bruised for your guilt
I hear it clear
the price was paid
how sweet this sound
slowly the legions leave
The voice gets louder
I will stick with you, no matter what
We are together in this
you are my special treasure
There’s silence now
He speaks without words
My heart falls back in line
This is as it should be
This love banishes fear…and guilt
I now understand the words
                 As a shepherd carries a lamb,
               I have carried you close to my heart
I feel carried
Certainly lifted
Above sin and grief
I am not counting your sins
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again
Im weak now
But he is strong
The tears flow
I’m in the presence of my father now
My great encourager
In this moment, nothing else matters
May not be fixed
But it is well
I’m still sorry
But I’m NOT guilty anymore!

Guilt is a Legion © Shelovedtwice.com
for sista.
bye4now..
SwEeTsOuL

[WatchULukin4]

Hmm, musings are gradually becoming addictive here o. And who's shelovedtwice? You?


Great work, can't wait to see your blog.

wu do u think?

dnt think dis is blog stuff my dear.

[Penthome]

I’m in the presence of my father now
My great encourager
In this moment, nothing else matters

WOw, thanks for sharing.

meanwhile, only God can forgive and forget. Like you said... He's not counting your sins.

[WatchULukin4]

i feel lik hittin d clubs tonight!
jus woke up from a well deserved rest n all i wanna do is
~get dressed(my flaming fuchia dress, off pink stillettos, my only prada bag, some sweetly daring lipgloss, mascara like no one else can & 60bangles 2 go with)
~look hawt (super fly)
~& rock the dance floor (notice i didnt call it dancing!) till i drop...

oh my! backsliding?? i think not. every girl needs a gud ol' dance once in a while.
i think its high time we got those friday night gospel discos PH (4 d rm detectives-in-training[dit], dis is not code for Penthome) promised!-in times lik dis, i can be 10yrs younger!  

in d meantime...
~ running my newly renovated bath (2 b honest...i lik d old one beta!)
~ ve still got d genius aromatheraphy set from my birthday
~ high skul musical and hannah montanah jingles (hey! i've got my cute sides too)
~ill get dressed alright
~and endure my 2hour journey...
...to work!

its nearly laughable.

thursday is d new friday ladies! whatever ure doin 2nite...have a blast! (this is one advice i WONT be taking. u do understand don't ya?!)

if u really need 2... © Shelovedtwice.com
4 all my SoulSistas
bye4now..
SwEeTsOuL

[Penthome]

4 all my SoulSistas?

Loud and clear. Gays, keep off! She wants 2 unwind.

[WatchULukin4]

miss d gud old days. no mobiles, no internet. u culd jus turn up at a friend's house wen ure bored.

i miss havin my friends next door. sometimes all u need is a hug.
i miss bathing in the rain.
i miss football with the lads
i miss suya, kilishi and funtime coconut chips
i miss fanta chapman

brb

[Penthome]

Just say you miss me!

[WatchULukin4]

i do actually. but i miss mukina n fred more!

[mona]

Well said deary

[phboy]

didatic

[Penthome]

@ phboy,

Datz possible, i mean for real, she really doesnt care about who's enjoying it or not, she's doing her intellectual thingy and it does make sense, take it or leave it.

[light of christ]

U miss more than that , woman!!!

[WatchULukin4]

life's moving. the beat doesnt stop
dance baby. dont run.
if papa dont come....dance
if mama turn sour...glide
when siblings leave, u can soar
its your world now
your only family is you.

...

[WatchULukin4]

random thoughts abound..

a friend so close cant be seen.
budding love could get cut in sprout
good deeds clouded by wrong motives
love that doesnt chase the fea
following God's way doesnt always make sense
how important is knowledge when measured with wisdom
thinking aloud is not always allowed
and the worst might be the best
when moving on might be running away
and life gets stuck in transit
lets just say today wants tommorow to come
and thats not always a good thing.
...
tbc

[BBFan]

Why did you stop this its good to read?